How To Live Up to Your Greatest Potential (Part 5)

If you haven't read the first part of this post, go here Part 1

If you haven't read the second part of this post, go here Part 2

If you haven't read the third part of this post, go here Part 3

If you haven't read the fourth part of this post, go here Part 4

As you advance toward your goals, you will undoubtedly run up against some difficult people (maybe even difficult bosses), and there will be times you'll need to deal effectively with them. Since you are working on becoming a nice, enthusiastic person and a team player, you already have half the battle won. Your attitude is as important as the other guy's attitude when you are dealing with difficult people.

Always keep in mind that your job is a training field for you. You are getting paid as you learn the things you need to know to achieve your goals. A pretty good deal, right? If you view your job as a paid opportunity to advance toward your goals, you will be an asset to your boss. You will also be a happier, more productive person. Viewing your job in this manner will allow you to view the difficult people you will inevitably need to deal with as an opportunity to grow. From them and the situations they create, you will learn to negotiate with, side-step around, and draw out the best in others without letting yourself become upset. Each time you successfully deal with one of these people you will gain confidence and probably friends to add to your support network. The skill of negotiating with difficult people and the confidence you have gained from these encounters comes in handy when you are ready to ask for a promotion or raise - even if your boss happens to be a nice person.

Successful negotiation is not a contest of wills - it is working together to solve a problem or come to an agreement. It is an opportunity to learn how others feel about the issue.

Always be prepared. Know who you are talking with. Always know as much as possible about the person. Know about the person's marital status, family, hobbies, education, difficulties, attitudes, and whatever else you can learn. The information may give you an understanding of the person. If you know the circumstances, you will more easily find the most effective way to get your point across. At the very least, the information will make the person seem more familiar which will give you more self-confidence.

Know the issue - not just your opinions about it. Be able to back up your opinions with reasons and research. If you are asking for a promotion, know the demands of the job in question. Know and be honest about how much of the job you are already qualified to do and how much additional training you will need. If you may not be as qualified as someone else applying, be prepared to negotiate for a smaller-than-offered salary until you are fully trained - remember the training is worth a lot to you. Be enthusiastic and focus on your strengths - don't boast but give a simple and accurate listing of the strengths you feel make you a good candidate for this job. The strengths you cite can and should include specific job-related skills, your present accomplishments on the job, your interest in the field (not just this job), your enthusiasm, your ability to work as a team member, and other personal traits that will be an asset on the job.

Always enter into negotiations with a calm and reasonable manner. Don't let emotion and emotional outbursts have a place at the negotiating table. You must be in control of yourself if you want to get your point across. People are more likely to listen to your views if you present them in a calm and reasonable manner. Present your ideas with conviction but don't try to intimidate others or be demanding. State your views simply, completely, and orderly. When you are expressing an opinion rather than a fact, use a qualifying "I think" or "In my opinion." When others are expressing their views, listen carefully and ask questions if something isn't clear. Don't disagree until you are sure you understand their position. When you do disagree, do so in a pleasant non-threatening way. "I see what you mean, but . . ." or "I can understand why you think that, but . . ." are a couple of good ways to begin a statement of disagreement. Be courteous and leave them a chance to save face.

Be prepared to face people who are not calm and reasonable. Don't let them get to you. Remain calm and reasonable and even be a little sympathetic. Let's say you have entered into negotiations with your boss for a raise and he blows up with, "I can't afford to give you a raise. This business isn't exactly a gold mine. Don't you realize how tough times are?" Remain calm. Put yourself in his shoes. Try to find something you can agree and sympathize with. For instance, look sympathetic and agree, "I know you have a lot of expenses and you work hard to keep this business going. It must be really difficult for you sometimes." This will probably not be the response he expects. It will probably take the wind out of his sails. Most likely he will calm down, and since you are sympathetic to his problems, he'll be more willing to listen to you. If you remain calm, reasonable, and sympathetic, he will calm down. When he is calmer, discuss with him the reasons you are a valuable asset to him. Don't threaten but calmly and reasonably discuss the bargain a small raise is. With that small raise, he'll be keeping a happy and fully trained employee who knows the company. When you consider the expense of finding and training another individual, giving you a raise is a bargain for your boss.

Play "Let's Make A Deal." Be prepared to deal. Don't expect to get everything you want. If you are willing to gracefully make some concessions, you will be more likely to arrive at a satisfactory deal. After all, a negotiation has at least two opposing sides. This means someone else has something they want, too - even if that something is simply to leave things as they are. Arrive at a compromise that everyone can live with. Remember, you are working at long-range goals, and you may be negotiating with them again.

TO BE CONTINUED!

Next week we'll cover what you should do next, Developing Efficiency and Dealing With Procrastination.

As always,
To your success!

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